#52essays: 700,800 minutes

That was about 700,800 minutes ago. Rent is my favorite musical of all time and this particular song: “525600 minutes…how do you measure a year?” rings true for me tonight more than ever as I write my fourth essay of the year. I’ve written several variations of #4thessay but somehow this one feels right to outdoor.

How do I measure 700, 800 minutes?

A Weary Heart

I find myself bursting into tears randomly over the last several weeks since I returned from vacation. It’s literally only been 20 days since I arrived back in the U.S. and I have knots in my neck. My stomach is always upset. My herniated discs are more active than usual. I’ve been thinking that maybe…

Caged Bird

So Mama Maya has been gone less than a week. Back home, we’d be getting ready to sit down for the traditional one-week ceremony and decide Things. I just found out the Wake is on Saturday, but that it is private. The compromise though is that it will be streamed. It’s amazing how some folks…

My Heart is Smiling (P.S. I Love You)

“My heart’s never smiled so hard, baby; loving you is fun!” (Easton Corbin) This phrase from a country song (surprise! surprise!), reminds me of the numerous conversations David and I used to have. Often we would text: “my heart is smiling/laughing.” Or the question: “do you still have butterflies?” Answer: “of course! And I hope…

Hello 2014

As a kid death came early to me. My maternal great-grandmother died when I was seven. I have very little memory of being with her but stories abound of how mischievous I was as a kid and how I used to hide her rosary and prayer-books and watch gleefully as she searched for them. They…

How I Have Been The Last Five Months

I have been stalling writing a personal blog entry for almost 5 months. I have been writing (as my contributions on other sites can attest to); I just haven’t written anything personal for the blog in a long time. Today, I had a mini break down, just with sobs and hiccups, not a my-life-is-over kind of break-down. I was listening to Christmas music and as sometimes music will do, it crept up on me and I found myself sobbing from someplace deep inside. It caught me off-guard and left me feeling totally comatose. Like I had been ambushed.

I’m In Your City

You are buried here

I can’t stop thinking about that

It’s like you are here

You are all around me