When we choose to love, really let someone in our lives, we open ourselves up for a lot of things aside from love. These are often by-products we don’t think about as we fall in love. I’ve been steeping in one such by-product:shame, for 4 months, and the shame led to fear, which led to reticence about telling the truth even though I prize telling my truth. I decided to shirk this with the new year’s arrival. Beloved and I have been separated for 4 months, and at this point, I think it’s a permanent separation. There, I said it! I’ve been steeping in shame because I made a proclamation that this relationship was it. I was hanging up my single hat and working this one out because I had come to believe and still do, that there is no perfect mate, nor is there one mate for everyone. This blog post is not to go into details of what went wrong but to just state the simple truth of what is. As the year drew to a close, and I am now a month away from 40, my lips have been loosed. I hope not to be hurtful in continuing to tell my truth as I have always tried to do but I also hope not to be stifled by my truth. My writer sister and sojourn wrote yesterday that she writes so I can know that I am not alone. I write for you who are struggling with your Own truths. She used the word “howl”…she said she howls in the wild and tonight, rescued from my stifling shame, I howl back.
“I Howl Back” thanks to my sister, V