Uncensored (somewhat) Musings

July 16, 2010 23:02
Post OW Reading Frenzy towards a Mini VONA Reunion
I have been afraid to ramble on here because I wanted to keep my journals separate from my “real work” but as I write more each day, I have realized that it is all the same me and the stress of divvying it up is causing me not to write. I worry about editing while I write, and wonder if there is spell check here??
Anyhow post VONA, my experiences were mixed. Last night, at dinner, post OW, I knew VONA was a success in its own right. I arrived at my couch and laptop at 11pm after dinner at Le Cheval with tons of amazing VONA people and their extended family who had come to hear me read. I wanted to write so badly, but as luck would have it, I changed my FB post and my internet went out. I crawled into bed worn out and full of emotion. It is amazing (to me) when folks show up, represent in ways I never imagined possible. I wanted to convey my immense gratitude. A part of me felt that perhaps my peeps knew that I was grateful. A part of me was shocked at how little faith I had put in humanity before that night. [We won't go into how this came to be and the years of therapy I have invested in while trying to rebuild my trust in humans.]
Anyway, so at dinner, surrounded by 9 amazing women writers and educators of color, with our token brother, Kenji, I soaked in the feeling of community as it ought to be. It was palpable, for me at least. I felt warm in everyone’s embrace. [obtw, I talked about this in therapy and cried! OMG! My VONA residency folks know how hard I tried not to cry during WK2 VONA.]
Anyway, so this is for those amazing women who came out, and Kenji and the others for making this happen.

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July 28, 23:20
Em…so I haven’t been able to figure out how to divide my entries, so I guess I’ll have to keep editing the original ones to add to it. It seems silly to post things on the main page that are just ramblings. So today, I came face to face with my kidney stones. About 6 months ago, I found out I have about 5 or 6 in each kidney with the largest one in my right. For the last few months, the left ones have been making their presence known. Today, the right kidney decided to join in the fun. Nothing makes you do what the doctor prescribes more than pain. I was in pain! I called in the codeine that they had prescribed a while back and I had never filled. Because pain is all in the head, right? Anyway, I have stayed indoors most of the day and relied on the generosity of chosen family. The pain is manageable for now, but I’m sticking to my mad dash for the litres of water I gulped down today.