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grief, prose poems, reflections

I’m In Your City

You’ve been on my mind a lot in the last week

I’ve been having a great time in your city

Or so it seems to the outside world

This is one of the cities you loved

I feel like dancing one minute, then

All of a sudden you are on my mind

And I catch the sobs welling up in my throat

As I’ve reconnected with folks

Most have asked

How it all happened

I’ve narrated it all over and over again

Like a reporter

Tried to ignore the emotion behind it

Say:

“Hmm…yes o…”

My Ghanaianisms peeking through

“It was such a tragedy!”

Sometimes it seems there is a voice-over

I smile when they express condolences

My face belying the pain

That haunts my dreams

You are buried here

I can’t stop thinking about that

It’s like you are here

You are all around me

I see tall Black men with goatees

Lanky and strutting with confidence

Sometimes I do a double-take

Before I remember

It’s not that you left Ghana

It’s not that you broke up with me

You left the physical bubble

Us humans think we occupy alone

You exited this relationship before we had our first spat

Recently I read somewhere

Some love is a black hole

It sucks you in

The two exist oblivious to everyone/thing else

For a long time I remained in this black hole

After a while I knew I wasn’t going to find you

But I didn’t want to face the world alone

I came out…eventually

To lots of love and hugs

Empathetic friends

Concerned family

Slowly…the void became filled up

With my usual busy schedule

But being in your city

The place where your physical body rests

Toys with this void that has now filled up

It doesn’t make me feel guilty for moving on

Just sad…contemplative…reflective

After all the planning we did for our summer in NY

I am living it without you

Physically at least

I keep feeling that in a sense, you called me here

To fulfill a part of our summer plans

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About ewurabasempe

Avid writer, culinary magician, author ready to take on the world

Discussion

8 thoughts on “I’m In Your City

  1. I can relate to this story

    Posted by Herta | June 18, 2013, 1:35 PM
  2. KK, this is so poignant. I feel your ache in these words. At the same time I’m happy life is going on for you. He is forever a part of you; knowing this will give you the courage to forge on. Be happy, my friend. :-)

    Posted by readinpleasure | June 21, 2013, 11:19 AM
    • I love that you always reach out and especially love that I got to meet you and hear these words personally.I know that David will forever be a part of my life. The moving on happens in waves. Being back in the U.S. I feel safer and less pressure to move on quickly. It’s as though people give room for the melancholy. The push to be happy is not as pressing.

      Posted by ewurabasempe | July 21, 2013, 11:38 AM
  3. It is a coincidence that you were led to stay here in the summer before you’re off again. I want to say something cliche like “Life is funny that way” but it is kind of incredible that you’re here…

    Posted by Roxanne | June 21, 2013, 11:22 AM
  4. Those last two lines make me want to cry.

    Posted by satsumaart | June 24, 2013, 4:37 PM

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